Again, thanks so much to Kate for typing up these transcripts for us
We really appreciate it Kate :)CONAN: You know her from THE ICE STORM and GO, and of course for her role on “Dawson’s Creek.” Beginning later this month you can see her in the supernatural thriller THE GIFT. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Katie Holmes.
KATIE: How are you?
CONAN: Thanks for coming.
KATIE: Thanks
CONAN: It’s great to have you on the show.
KATIE: It’s great to be here.
CONAN: You know what’s amazing, I should know better but I’ve seen you on “Dawson’s Creek” you have no idea how tall you are. You’re very tall in person.
KATIE: I know, I am. I come from a very tall family. My brother’s like 6’5” and
CONAN: You’re nine feet high right now.
KATIE: I am, I’m very large.
CONAN: Yeah. No, it’s tall. What’s that - I know a lot of guys like to be tall; women don’t often like to be tall, or too tall. Do you like it?
KATIE: I like it, but, um, like when going out on dates, or dating, it’s- I think it’s- It’s kind’ve- I sound shallow, but I like to be with somebody who’s taller than me.
CONAN: Reaally.
KATIE: I like to- she realizes what he’s saying and starts to laugh. The audience follows suit.
CONAN: Interesting. No, Katie.
KATIE: And I’m-
CONAN: I’m 55 years old and I’m like ‘interesting!’ Uh, no now, but do you like- Katie takes a sip of water from a Conan mug. Okay that’s not water. Uh… But you like- you want them- I think it’s fine to say. You like a guy who’s taller than you. I think that’s fine.
KATIE: Yeah well. Hmm.
CONAN: Yeah. So would you say if you kind’ve liked a guy who was 5’5” would you be like (two thumbs down and convulsing) ‘NO WAY’ and- you wouldn’t do that (displays again) I would hope.
KATIE: No!
CONAN: Many women have done that to me. I think it’s wrong.
KATIE: I don’t think so.
CONAN: Yes they- high school. It was a freak show, trust me. It was not a pretty story, high school.
KATIE: Well what? You’re tall.
CONAN: I was tall, but I was to tall in high- I was one of those guys who hit his growth spurt, and it happened within a one month period.
KATIE: (Chuckling.) Ohh…
CONAN: Sort of like the Incredible Hulk, and uh so I couldn’t put the weight on. So I was like 6’4 and 150 pounds. The circus came and took me away.
KATIE: Ohh…
CONAN: But I’m fine now. Uh, I’ve got the padding. We had Josh, Joshua Jackson on the show, and he said- I don’t know if he’s trying to- he said he likes to moon people on the set to kind’ve like ease the tension and everything. Is he really doing that?
KATIE: He does, and I think he thinks he’s really doing a service to everyone, and kind’ve like- you know.
CONAN: He’s doing it for the good of humanity.
KATIE: Yeah, you know let’s- one for the team, and let’s get all excited, and it’s like ‘Josh…’
CONAN: You don’t say ‘One for the team’ when you moon people.
KATIE: I know! I’ve seen his-
CONAN: I think, I think I must do this now for people.
Katie, by now, is giggling hysterically.
KATIE: I think he really thinks that way.
CONAN: So he’s shown you his butt a lot…
KATIE: You know, it doesn’t even phase us anymore, and these- you know we have different directors every week that come in and he’ll do it, and some people give him a chuckle like, ‘Okay…’ the rest of us are like ‘um’ you know. The directors get a kick out of it, cause it’s like-
CONAN: I think that would be so embarrassing to moon someone and get no response. Cause then you’re there like, Conan stands up, mimicking a mooning (in a funny voice) ‘ha ha… (a beat, back to normal voice) Okay, well! Anyone see that fight last night?’ He sits back down. You know, you’re just stuck! You’re completely stuck there, which is terrible. You shoot this show- It’s in Wilmington, Delaware.
KATIE: Wilmington, North Carolina.
CONAN: Oh, North Carolina. Alright. He stares out to the producers with a ‘you schmucks’ face on.
KATIE: Who messed up!?
CONAN: Yeah, that’s right. Thank you, fine second producer I have. Katie laughs again. Just during the day I said, ‘Is that Wilmington- is that like-?’ And he’s like, ‘it’s in Delaware.’
KATIE: It’s okay, it’s okay.
CONAN: And I’m like, ‘Thanks, Buddy.’ Um, I’ll find him. Uh, hold for editing… and here we go. Now when you do that show it’s in this little small town. Do the town boys leave you alone then, cause you’re kind’ve protected? You’re not- you know what I mean. It’s like because you’re in this little town it’s not like they can-
KATIE: Right.
CONAN: bug you that much, or spread rumors about you.
KATIE: Right, but every now and then, you know, something will appear and um, for instance last year I was having dinner with uh, someone, and we read in the tabloids that She puts this really cute/obnoxious gossip whisper ‘James Van Der Beek and Katie Holmes were seen having dinner in Wilmington’ (end voice) and it’s like ‘Well, first of all we weren’t, and what’s the big deal? We work together!”
CONAN: Right
KATIE: And, you know.
CONAN: So it wasn’t actually him, but they start spreading that you two are having dinner, which is-
KATIE: (in the voice again) Having dinner…
CONAN: Oh, they said it like that?
KATIE: And we also have lunch together. She makes this aghast face and leans back in her chair. And that’s real! They both laugh.
CONAN: Well that is very weird. To have dinner and then lunch? That means something’s clearly going on.
KATIE: I know, I know!
CONAN: I mean come on. Um, I think it’s terrible that the tabloids do things like that. We have a feature on this show called, ‘IF THEY MADE IT’ where we take celebrities, and if they’ve been linked in the tabloids we show what would happen if they had a child. And I think we should do that right now. Just because-
KATIE: Well you know what, thank you. Thank you.
CONAN: Yeah, thank you. You know what, this is going to get the tabloids off your back
KATIE: This is interesting, right.
CONAN: And because it was in the tabloids, let’s take a look at the both of you right here. There’s you, there’s James Van Der Beek. Let’s just see what would happen, were you guys together, what would your child look like? I’m just curious. Let’s take a look at that now.
You can hear over the screen of the James/Katie monkeyish crossover (or Tesh, as Conan called it) Katie’s burst of laughter.
KATIE: I guess it’s a good thing Dawson and Joey broke up.
CONAN: Yeah, I think so. Wow, kind’ve Tesh-like. Now, Tesh doesn’t mind. Let’s talk about THE GIFT. This is a frightening, frightening movie. It’s just- It’s-
KATIE: It’s creepy.
CONAN: It’s creepy.
KATIE: Yeah.
CONAN: Tell us the- generally, what’s the idea behind the movie?
KATIE: Well it’s a supernatural thriller, and uh, Cate Blanchett plays this town fortuneteller-small town in the South-and there’s a mystery, and she has these powers to kind’ve be able to figure it out, and it’s uh, it’s the least suspected suspect.
CONAN: It’s the person you least suspect.
KATIE: Yeah
CONAN: Okay. I like the way you say it better though.
KATIE: Isn’t that good?
CONAN: Yeah, yeah, ‘the least suspected suspect.’ That’s not a good promotion for the movie. ‘THE GIFT: The least suspected… suspicious… suspect!’ Uh…
KATIE: Katie sticks out her chest and does a little pose (in a flighty voice, even lisping) I’m just an actress!
CONAN: That’s right, and I’m just a clown. Let’s take a look. We have a clip here. Is there anything we need to know for the clip?
KATIE: Uh, this is when I meet Cate’s character for the first time, and uh, kind’ve question what she does.
CONAN: If she does really have these powers or not?
KATIE: Yeah, cause I’m kind’ve a… not a nice person.
CONAN: Not a nice person in the movie.
KATIE: In the movie.
CONAN: Alright, let’s take a look at this clip from THE GIFT.
[FADES TO CLIP]
Greg Kinnear’s character’s office. Katie, Cate Blanchett, and Greg are there. Cate is at the door. Katie’s right next to her. They speak in Southern twang.
KATIE: You’re not that Whale’s Nest (?) fortuneteller, are you?
CATE: I don’t call myself that.
Katie walks over to Greg as she speaks, finishing at his side (next to the desk).
KATIE: I’d love for you to read my fortune.
CATE: I’m pretty booked up.
KATIE: (leaning her head on Greg’s shoulder) ‘You think we’ll live happily ever after?
A creepy wind starts to blow ominously into Cate’s hair as she looks at the couple. She turns her attention to a green pencil that has started to roll on the desk. As it gets closer to the edge, the sound gets more grating, and the camera zooms in on Cate’s fearful eyes. It teeters off the desk and falls to the floor, landing in a puddle of water. Also in the water is a pair of Katie’s visibly decomposing naked feet standing where Katie’s regular feet are supposed to be. Cate shudders. The camera goes back to a two-shot of Katie and Greg.
KATIE: What’s the matter? You see something bad?
[END CLIP]
CONAN: Oh that’s eerie. Good, but eerie. Uh, “Dawson’s Creek” is on Wednesday’s at eight on The WB, and THE GIFT opens December 20th in select cities and then it’s expanding further in January, so everyone can go see it. Hey thanks a lot for coming by the show.
KATIE: Thanks for having me.
They shake hands.
CONAN: Thanks for doing it. Katie Holmes everybody! Kevin Sorbo coming up in a bit!
